The Origin of the World
by brlurghuhgurghughg
Summary: My mockery of Greek Mythology's humorous theory of creation and view of the gods. Loosely fanfiction, really only fanfiction in that I was inspired by Greek Mythology.


In the beginning, there was nothing. Just nothing. And a rock. Yes, there was a single rock in the middle of nothing. For a long time, this was how the universe went on. Nothing, and a rock. Some might consider this very dull, but back then, it was everything. Literally. Not to mention both nothing and the rock were great conversationalists, though they didn't say much since they had really nothing to talk about.

Nearly all of the conversations began with the rock asking "How goes everything?" with of course, the sarcastic retort from nothing, "Same as usual, what do you think?" And so, nothing and a rock went on through their time of being, well, a rock and nothing.

However, one day the rock got annoyed with nothing's boringness and it seemed a good idea to the rock to somehow liven up everything. So, the rock shook a little, and with a loud resounding "Spoot", the first race to live on the rock. Nothing thought that this a bad idea at the time, and has held this stance adamantly.

These children of the rock, looking somewhat like us, were not very intelligent. In fact, they were quit stupid. Not to mention the rock, now having to think faster than it was used to from when there was really nothing to have to move fast about, with infinite majesty named them all Dennis, which just lead to more confusion on the matter of these first beings, helping contribute to even stupider acts on their part.

Thus, these Dennisians roamed the surface of the rock, which was actually a rather very large rock, quite large in fact compared to the Dennisians. So they roamed the rock for a long time, meeting each other occasionally and greeting with a "Hello Dennis!" when they passed oh so seldom often.

The rock enjoyed his Dennis watching sport at first, but after a long time he grow bored of the Dennisians aimless wandering about him with no real purpose. He spoke to one of the Dennisians most highest in his regard, named Dennis, and declared him ruler of the Dennis'.

Then the rock gathered all of the Dennisians together, and told them to do something more exciting than just wandering about the earth. Dennis spoke to the people he led, and chose from among them Dennis to be his wife, and assigned which Dennis' to do what things. And so they rose a great pile of dirt and excretions into the sky, which they named, creatively, Dennis. Mount Dennis rose high into the void above the rock, and the rock was indeed pleased to watch this and get some entertainment. So the Dennis' sat high upon the rock. Now, Dennis figured that, since he was doing such a good job as lord of the Dennisians, he should have some other servants/ children of his own, to rule over.

Thus he and Dennis gave birth to a second race upon the rock, which were to be named Dennis (however Dennis had lockjaw at the time), were named the Dahnas. The Dahnas looked much like the Dennisians, exactly the same, except that they were slightly less stupid from some reverse reaction from the inbreeding Dennis', though they were slightly weaker in strength.

The first born son of Lord Dennis, who he chose to be lord of Dahnas, was named Steve. There is much speculation to why he was named Steve, some think that the Dahnasian had chosen his own name as Steve; others think nothing had suggested it. Others just think that modern day Steve is a far branched off interpretation of Dennis. In any case, Steve and the Dahnas lived high on Mount Dennis with the Dennis', and all was good for a long time. The rock was content with watching his people interact, though nothing thought it was all still a very bad idea.

The rock however one day encountered a fatal accident. Part of the rock spontaneously "Spoot"ed, and with a fire blast the rock's surface was greatly change. Water fell onto the rock's surface, and a sky forced of blue color. The rock was quick to brag to nothing, but nothing really didn't care about how much blue liquid appeared on his surface, he still thought the whole mess was a bad idea.

Soon, Lord Dennis too became bored as the rock once had, and decided to have things not of his blood on the rock to watch over, in order relieve himself of this boredom. Thus he told his son Steve "Make some things to cover the rock and to entertain me for a time" And thus Dennis toiled hard for a long time, and made shoes. Now, the idea of shoes fascinated the Dennis'. "Things to go over your feet to protect them and keep them from getting cold? Amazing!" However, while the shoes were nice and comfortable, they were not exactly what Lord Dennis wanted.

So Steve, in infinite speed, made the creatures and plants to inhabit our earth. He created the aardvarks, the hippopotamus', the duck billed platypuses, the badgers, he made them all. From this arose something to that made Lord Dennis fill with glee: Food. The second it was discovered the wonderful taste of these delicious things, the Dennis' would kill them with their mystical powers and eat as much as they could. They would eat anything at the time, from porcupines to pine trees; it didn't overly matter much to them.

With fire, though, the Dahnas and Dennis' learned that they could cook various foods to make new things, and meals. And from fire and cooking arose the most sacred of dishes then and now: **PIE.** Pie rose quickly to becoming the Dennis' main food dish, be it apple, cherry, strawberry tart, ice cream, or mince meat.

However, Steve thought to himself _'Something is missing. What else could be made?'_

Thus, Steve made Man in his image, without his mystical powers however. This quickly was realized as a bad idea, as Man was nearly demolished by wild and ravenous masses of dangerous squirrels and other vicious woodland creatures. Steve gave man shoes, but that did little to help man (though they could now be eaten while maintaining very comfortable feet).

Steve thought long and hard what he could give man. He finally gave mankind the key to all inventions. Pie. With Pie, man invented fire to cook the pie (and other dishes thereafter), plus the circular shape of pie soon gave rise to the wheel.

However, Lord Dennis was angered by this transgression. He punished Steve for giving away the most sacred of dishes to mankind. So Steve was punished by forced to have kitchen duty for a year, the greatest punishment ever endured by a Dahnas.

Man went on as usual. The Dennis' tried to at first interact with man, but man proved to be more competent than the Dennis' so it usually ended with the Dennis' walking away with faces red with embarrassment.

As man flourished, the Dennis' and the Dahnas' waned. The years of inbreeding had begun to wear down the "God" races, and thus they were becoming stupider and stupider with each generation. It ended with one of the stupider individuals accidentally knocking over Mount Dennis, destroying every individual except a guy named Chad who had been out jogging at the time, but that is a different story altogether.

The rock felt a little remorse at this, but nothing thought that it was for the best.

Thus man flourished to modern day, inventing technology and entertainment. They even gained nothing's slight approval at the whole ideal with the creation of football, for the whole sport fascinated nothing and gave it and the rock something to discuss for once.

And thus the rock spinned, our Earth, to modern day.


End file.
